Mine is a Story of Healing & Growth — Just Like Yours.
After my first company failed, I fell into a deep depression. I simply didn’t know how to respond to that moment and despite still having so much love, success and remaining opportunities around me – I nearly ended my own life at 26.
Fortunately, in my rock bottom I also found my life’s purpose: helping others like me transform their lives in a similar way that I did — only more on purpose.
I Was 9 When I Learned that I was Adopted.
After being born to a 17 year-old girl who decided it was best if someone else raised me, I was legally relinquished to an agency that processed my adoption to a lawyer and his wife in East Texas.
Thus, I spent the first five days of my life in some type of home for such things and was eventually picked up and taken home with my family for good on May 11th, 1990.
And for the first 10 years of my life in Lufkin, I wanted for absolutely nothing and frankly loved every second of my life with my family there. That’s me, my brother and my Mom who raised me in the photo right there. Look at how happy we all are.
Even after getting the obviously-traumatic news that I was, in fact, not biologically related to anyone I’d ever thought of as my family, very little actually changed for me. Family is family is family and, despite many painful moments along the way, that truth couldn’t have been more true for me and my childhood.
A few years later, however, whenever my Mom died of cancer - my life set me on a journey that took me places that I never could’ve imagined.
I was 15 when my Mom died — at 16 I left home for good.
And in many ways, that’s when my life truly began.
For reasons that are easy to understand and accept today, my Father struggled mightily with the loss of my Mother. In my view, he was simply as overwhelmed as could be with the new reality of raising two adopted sons on his own and thus, what he had to give me at that time was genuinely very minimal.
So much so that I left home for good about a year later and moved in with my best friend at the time. After a semester or so with Matt and Margie and Max and Mark and Don and Loretta, I moved in with my girlfriend at the time, shown right with my Mom, whose family was courageous and committed enough to take me in.
I no longer had a stable home, nor a “real family,” I thought - but I did have a duffle bag full of clothes and a long list of people who loved me apparently - even if I wasn’t really able to actually see that or not.
My Grandmother Put Me Through College — Where My Pain Really Started to Show.
With the help of Wilma Louise right there - who was strong and as sharp as she was adorable - I still had some semblance of family and support in my life. Not only did she help me pay for school, she plainly moved hell and high water to make sure I had whatever I needed, even from 11 hours away in Missouri where she lived.
And while I still bleed burnt orange to this day as a Texas Longhorn, my time in school was mostly just fertile ground for all of my suppressed pain to remain in deep denial, away from myself and anyone else who might see how devastatingly sad and scared and alone I was inside.
It was then and there in West Campus where I truly learned how to hide my shame and anxiety in, rationalize my cheating and lying and backstabbing in relationships and genuinely smoke and drink with the best of them. Though it obviously wasn’t all bad - I did meet some actual life-long friends and actually accomplish some incredibly cool things - I do feel genuinely lucky that I actually survived this part of my life.
Became a Father at 22, Started a Business at 23 — and Met My Bio Mother at 24.
Ever heard of doing the most? Apparently, me neither.
And while all of these things happened in such a way that truly led to a lot of genuine pain and suffering for me and everyone else involved (my wife & my children chief among them), they also were all such beautiful and invaluable experiences in my life.
At that age, I simply didn’t know what I didn’t know
Though I didn’t have any real professional identity, experience or direction after college, I did have some money that my Grandmother had left me and I did have an insatiable need to prove to everyone how smart and special I was (since deep-down I was actually deeply hurting).
And since I was in Austin, one of the startup capitals of the world, I didn’t think too long about pushing way too many of chips in the center of the table chasing fairy tales and press clippings and something about the moon. (ouch + lesson learned) And sure - while I love parts of that for me - starting a company and risking lots of money to prove something to your Dad that abandoned you isn’t something I recommend.
The real thread to highlight here, however, is my then-girlfriend, now-wife, Jenna, who was there for me through every ounce of it. After my Mom died, it was her that convinced her parents to let me move in with them.
And after we’d gotten pregnant as seniors at UT, it was her that knew that no matter what - we were meant to have that baby. It was her that sent in the paperwork that eventually led to the reunification with my biological Mother and it was her that snapped that photo bottom right of the exact moment of us meeting for the first time.
And perhaps most of all, it was her that remained steady and patient and committed while I struggled personally and professionally at seemingly every step of the way. Without her - not only would there be no success story to write of or invaluable service to provide others, there also simply wouldn’t be my favorite part of this story at all.
Then We Did A lot of Work — And Created Something Beautiful.
I’ve lived it.
And I would choose it again and again and again.
That doesn’t mean that it’s easy all of the time. In fact, like all of our lives, at times it’s still incredibly difficult - as anyone raising a family, running a business and living intentionally already knows.
But those smiles are real.
And the joy and the warmth and the peace and the purpose and the power in our lives, as a rather simple family of five, is real too. So are the incredible friends and family in our lives now too.
And that’s the thing that I will forever be most proud of: the immaculate relationships that I’ve created in my life. As a husband, a father and a family — and also as a friend, a colleague and a powerful leader / coach to so many amazing, talented people that I’ve been blessed to work with. Those are the gifts of all gifts that I will forever cherish above all.
My name is Scott McElroy and that’s my story.
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